How to Deal With a Cheating Partner

According to statistics, every fourth man cheated on his wife at least once in his life. I would like to believe that only strange, wrong husbands do this. But the reality is that sometimes even the most reliable of them cheat https://toplovehacks.com/signs-your-wife-just-slept-with-someone-else/ .

How to behave with a husband who cheated: 6 categorical impossible

1. ignore the problem
If an ostrich hides its head in the sand, the lion will still not disappear. Ignoring is not the best way to solve problems.

2. blackmail a man
“I forbid you to see children if you…” Such statements are an atomic bomb that will destroy all life, including your relationship.

3. Blame yourself
Just because you've been lied to doesn't mean you're bad. It’s just that a man is not all right with a moral compass and self-regulation skills. What he did is his responsibility and choice. Family psychologist Gary Newman cites the following figures: 88% of husbands sleep with women who are nothing more attractive than their regular partners.

4. Chat with your mistress
This will not help, but only anger the spiritual wound. You can, of course, come to the landlord with a chainsaw in one hand and a gun in the other, but the Criminal Code does not approve of such actions.

5. Revenge
The principle of "an eye for an eye" will not add peace (perhaps for five minutes), and will not cure resentment.

6. Use what happened as an argument in disputes
It happens that ten years have already passed, and a woman, at every opportunity, and often inconvenient, remembers betrayal - they get a deadly trump card to solve any problem. The goal is to make the husband feel guilty and break down resistance. There is zero constructivity in this. Forgive forever or leave - there is no golden mean.

A man has changed: how to behave and what is considered treason

If, as in a bad joke, you returned early from a business trip and found your husband with a guilty face and a naked woman in bed, the diagnosis is clear. There was sex - adultery on the face. Although there are options.

For example, Bill Clinton, in his story with Monica Lewinsky, argued that oral sex is not really sex. There are heroes who do not consider a drunken night a betrayal: they fell, woke up, did not answer. Or here's another question: is watching porn secretly a betrayal or an innocent hobby?

And if there was no intimacy in the traditional sense at all? But there were meetings, intimate conversations or correspondence in social networks. Why are you upset, dear? I was dressed! And by the way, in the tie you gave me. For such stories, there is the term “emotional betrayal”, when a person shares his thoughts, feelings, interests not with a partner, but with someone else.

So what is real cheating? There is no correct answer. You are entitled to your own author's definition of this concept. And it is important to voice it to the partner “on the shore”. For example, let your loved one know that you'll be uncomfortable if they flirt on Facebook with former classmates or regularly drink at a bar with the same female co-worker.

Is it necessary to forgive betrayal
This is the most important question that needs to be dealt with by a woman who has learned about the infidelity of a loved one. Often they come to a psychologist with a request: “Husband is cheating, what to do, how to behave?” and looking for advice. Not every woman has her own answer, and it will not come soon.

It can take weeks or even months to make a decision, and you need to be prepared for the fact that it will change ten times a day. Only you yourself can understand how much this betrayal hurt you, whether you want to continue to be with this person and whether you can trust him again.

Many take the position “I must at all costs save the family for the sake of the children” and stay with the cheater without forgiving him. But experts believe that no one can say with absolute certainty that such a choice will really be the right one for the children themselves. We still cannot think for another person, even a small one.

It is much safer to focus on your feelings. Better dad and mom will be happy alone than unhappy together. Often, as adults, children recall with relief the divorce of their parents: “Finally, the scandals have stopped.” Therefore, it is worth keeping the family only for its own sake.